tennants-companion:

so I was forced to go to church and all these babies were screaming and I said “we wouldn’t be having this problem if the church supported abortion” and the guy next to me almost had a heart attack

(via payyourchildsupport)

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

• blogs with less than 200 followers are getting deleted
• on new years day, everyone under the age of 18 must dress up like ronald reagan
• christmas is illegal
• the national u.s. currency has been changed from money to bread
• post limit is 1 post per day
• selfies are banned
• you can only follow 1 person. choose wisely
• baldness is illegal

(via ichikun)

magehenry:

milkshakies:

magehenry:

milkshakies:

  IN THE MIDDL EOF HAVINGF  SEX WITH HOT HOT GOIRLFREIEND   YOU LAY YOUR VERY OWN LARG EEGG

are you okay

IU OCUYKLD BE HAVING HOT SEXY STEAMY EGG LAY9ING SEX RIGHT NOW AS I TYPE

get well soon

(via payyourchildsupport)

geardway:

THE BIBLE SAYS ADAM & EVE, NOT ADAM STAYS IN HELL FOREVER

(via hawkeyeathogwarts)

baby-scars:

yahoo is going to delete every blog that doesn’t reblog my selfies sorry i don’t make the rules

(via stiches-in-clouds)

chickensandwich:

foxnewsofficial:

let’s have ***

(Uncensored for adults) lets have egg

(via ichikun)

mbermatic:

laughterbynight:

petrichoriousparalian:

riker-wears-a-skant:

crescentcityswoon:

nevver:

Bullshit, New Jersey 3rd in Survey of Cursing (larger)

Louisiana: the state where we cuss like sailors, but still say please and thank you

California: the state where we’ll curse you out worse than you’ve ever heard if you cut us off on the freeway, but we’ll be sure to use our turn signals to let you know that we’re about to go around you at 95 miles an hour.

Massachusetts, are you fucking shitting me? Everyone here swears like a fucking sailor. I thought I swore a lot until I moved to Boston.

We have fucking DICK’S! DICK’S, do you fucking understand?! That is a restaurant where tourists go to be treated like shit! Because it’s Boston and we don’t  give a fuck! AND IT’S LITERALLY CALLED DICK’S.

Welcome to Cali

that’s complete bullshit for Texas—

actually maybe that’s just for Austin. Put a little blue dot in the middle of Texas for the cursing 

But yeah we say Thank you and Sorry like no other wow we are actually kind of polite for being dicks

(via rangerkatt)

pippa6100:

I can’t believe Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome, bought tumblr

(via payyourchildsupport)

pewpuupalace:

zeonhime:

the worst feeling about trying to draw is being a mediocre artist. You realize you’re not terrible and family and friends who can’t draw at all tell you all the time how amazing you are, but you, as the artist, have seen what amazing really is and you realize that it isn’t you.

500% me

(via payyourchildsupport)

fruk-more-like-frick-already:

taeyeon-9muses-rilakkuma-ohyeah:

Clever way of getting his features in there.

cr:  thqys

LITTLE FUCKING BEAR PANCAKES!

I WANT SOME SO I CAN DRENCH THEM IN MAPLE SYRUP OH MY GOD

THIS IS SO CUTE I DON’T EVEN LIKE PANCAKES

(via rangerkatt)

deerpong:

gnarly:

pornolympics:

a simple dorite

dorito

dorite

(via commander-cosmo)

jinn0uchi:

the-hatred-machine:

purgatorystuck:

Mi papá tiene 47 años= my dad is 47 years old

Mi papa tiene 47 anos= my potato has 47 assholes

I love spanish

A capital letter changes it even further:

Mi Papa tiene 47 anos = My pope has 47 anuses

literally the best post I have seen on this website

(via jonamamagrampa)

twerkingmajestically:

“we’re gonna party like it’s 1999!” sings the thirteen year old girl.

suddenly, she finds herself turning into a fetus.

she is trapped inside her mother’s womb.

the party has begun.

(via snazzykitties)

ghiralicious:

livingenough:

swimminginmavin:

hurpthederp:

iwillmindfuckyou:

gameandwatch:

kushdrinker:

green is not a creative color

what the fuck are you trying to say with that gif

lets not bring it up

lets never bring it up

Don’t Hug me I’m Scared

what part of never bring it up do you not understand

(via payyourchildsupport)

mermaidsandmisandry:

things i dont need in my life:

• wasps
• those stringy things on the banana
• commercials on youtube

(via livingthecruelreality)